you cannot be brilliant at everything all of the time
Here's how to make that happen and still feel ok:
I had a coffee with a friend last week, who is a SAHM. She said she really struggled with that because it made her feel like she was "just" a SAHM. I shared that I struggled with the fact that I had expected back when on maternity leave that my house would become an exquisitely neat palace of cleanliness... I was around more so I'd "keep on top of it".
In reality no sooner had I hoovered up the cornflake crumbs and chipped away at the Weetabix cement than it all starts again: the kids are home, leaves blow into the front porch, mud drops in the hallway, more crumbs are left as snacks are devoured, an unsightly smear of something appears on a worktop/floor (best not to ask). Housework it appears is not something that you are ever 100% "on top of.
And so, here is my message to you (and it goes well beyond the housework:) you, you beautiful, overachieving, inspirational, tired woman: you cannot be brilliant at everything all of the time. Here's how to make that happen and still feel ok:
1. Do less. Make a list of all the processes in your business or home life: what absolutely HAS to be done to ensure it keeps running? Do that (and no more).
2. You have to let other people do stuff, and if they're not, ask them to do it! This could be anything from unloading the dishwasher, to dealing with the school emails, to paid services where possible like outsourcing an aspect of your work that is the biggest time suck (if you made a list of your processes in 1. that will almost certainly help!)
3. Your standards can be lower around housework: got a clean kitchen, stuff to eat off and clothes to wear? Hurray! And if a friend comes over and judges you because there's a "random pile of crap" on the sofa, well then they're not a real friend (FYI I find clutter really stressful but am also a maximalist as in I love colour and texture...I have trained the kids to always take up stuff on the "stairs pile" which helps).
4. Stop trying to do the "perfect" exercise class - I bet you're on your feet all day already - and if you do want to move more, think about opportunities to do that to build into your day (get off the bus a stop earlier or, indeed, get the bus!). Walk heavy piles of clothes to the charity shop. Walk. Cycle. And if you can fit in a workout, all the better.
5. Perhaps the most important one - commit to the thing(s) you want to be really brilliant at, find courage and go for it. Too many amazing women stay small because to open themselves up to the possibility that they could shine brightly and brilliantly feels too scary. (And it can be more than one thing).
I’d love to know if this helped in some way. Join me in the comments and let me know?
With love,
Laura x
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