What do harry potter and motherhood have in common?
I’M ABOUT TO TALK ABOUT HARRY POTTER SPOILERS - IF YOU DON’T KNOW THE PLOT and DON’T WANT TO KNOW, THEN CLICK AWAY NOOOOOOWWWWW.
I’ve been listening to Harry Potter with my kids (it’s such a brilliant audiobook, narrated by Stephen Fry) and we are at the point where Harry learns about horcruxes (shivers). Dumbledore describes to Harry how committing murder results in a split soul. Lord Voldemort - in his quest for ever demented greatness and power - chooses to split his soul seven times, so that he might be his version of immortal. A grotesque act, but one that results in him being unable to feel when parts of himself are “alive” and others are destroyed.
Listening to this, I started to reflect on the ”splits” that motherhood and the last few years have triggered in me. I think it’s no exaggeration to say that at times there have been parts of my soul that have been deadened - whether through fear, exhaustion, financial pressure, lack of creative stimulus, lack of space…
At times I have felt that the “mother” part of my soul is burning bright, whilst the “Laura who is “just” her” is a wholly separate entity - split and packaged into a Horcrux, and left to be discovered at some point.
Sometimes I accept that as the ebb and flow of this season of my life - I am primarily a carer right now, and there’s so much nourishment that comes with that.
But at other times it can feel as though there are parts of me whispering to be heard, drowned out by the relentless “mummeeee” and my tired bones asking me to rest more, even when the baby would have it otherwise. It doesn’t help that I so often want to be and do everything.
Have you ever felt the split? What’s been split off from you?
Time for you to consider…
If this has prompted you to think about your own split, why not consider the following (you could discuss with someone, write in a notebook or journal, talk out loud into the Otter.ai app?)
Which parts of myself deserve more attention?
Which parts of myself feel too quiet right now?
What is one thing I want to feel more? What is one tiny step I can take to do this?
Is time really the obstacle to this or is it something else?
Am I communicating my own needs to others (and myself) enough?
Let me know if this helps, join me in the comments to discuss!
With love,
Laura x
P.s. sorry about the click-bait-y title!
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